This Is a Real Document.....A Woman Sent This Proposal of Marriage (to the Male Race) to the Ask E. Jean Column. I'm slapping it up on my little website here. It's the least I could do for a fellow woman. (And....it is hysterical and moving).
Kindle . . . . Or........Here's a freeeee copy: The Greatest Degenerate of the 20th Century. This book was published by Dutton in 1993 and received raves so extremely flattering they seemed to defy logic. Hardbacks are still floating around out there in Hot Cakes Land. Meanwhile here are 7 WAYS TO TAP INTO YOUR INNER HUNTER: 1. DRUGS. Get off your Ritalin and Adderall. The whole point of life is to enjoy your Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. 2. WARDROBE. You need a hat. Accessorize with a vicious Doberman, a clove cigarette in a holder, tinted aviators, tennis shorts-in-the-dead-of-winter and a woman's wig with blonde limpy curls. 3. WHISKEY. Never drink a work. Leave work to get drunk. 4. SEX. Pretend to listen to women very closely. It turns them to mush faster than looks, money, or fame. 5. FOOD. Breakfast is sacred. Eat it alone, and never before 3:00 p.m. It should consist of two grapefruits (the secret of longevity!), six cups of coffee, two tall glasses orange juice, scrambled eggs with hot sauce, cheese and chilies, four rashers of bacon, refried beans, hot-buttered toast, two or three wedges of key lime pie, a couple of margaritas, all the papers, ESPN, and a half-grinder of cocaine. 6. TALK. Mumble so no one can understand you. If they cannot understand you, you can ignore them. 7. DEATH. Don't be concerned whether your books will "live on"---they will die. The trick is for you to live on.
Edited by the illustrious David Hirshey for Harper Collins. I caught a lot of shit for the term "Man-Catcher," but this book works! Look here
When I first arrived in New York from Montana, I had one pair of jeans, one pair of cowgirl boots, and one belt. I am wearing them on this cover. Yeeeeee gods! Youth is very heaven! This was edited by the wonderful Miss Nessa Rapoport! I think you can still scare up a copy.